Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Description on the picture
It was a hot and sultry afternoon. The waves rushed towards the shoreline and slowed down just before reaching it, hitting the shore gently, and pulling back. The beach was full of people in their swimsuits, some on land, while some were wading in the shallow water. There were two people looking as though they were having fun in the wet sand, a father and a son, both wearing matching swimming trunks, both hunched, concentrating on building something out of the mud that they had dug out from the surroundings. It was a place of fun and excitement, and accompanied by the beautiful scenery, it was the perfect place to be.
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Try to use more figurative languages to describe the setting. This can allow readers to produce a better image of the scene in their minds. After all, this is a beach. You can make use of your imagination to describe the trees. Furthermore, you can connect the idea of the sea, sun and the sand together as they are the main things you see on the beach.
ReplyDeleteMake use of sensory devices too. For example, you can describe the taste of the sea water, or the noises made by the people on the beach. These sensory details can help to portray the mood of the story.
Finally, please try to avoid writing run-off sentences by separating independent clauses with appropriate punctuation marks or conjunctions.
Example of a run-off sentence:
"There were two people looking as though they were having fun in the wet sand, a father and a son, both wearing matching swimming trunks, both hunched, concentrating on building something out of the mud that they had dug out from the surroundings."